learning to celebrate

To be honest, I'm not much of a Valentine's Day fan.  My husband and I have never celebrated it, both agreeing that it is a commercial holiday without which we'd both still know fully that we love one another.  So there!

As with most lessons in life, however, our children have taught us a bit about savoring this celebration.  Each of them shared something of themselves this year that made this holiday meaningful.  Their contributions were as unique as their personalities and offered "straight from the heart."  As cliche as this may sound, I see it this way as if for the first time.

Mr. Man offered his humor and love for writing.  He and a friend have been working on a comic series featuring their hero: Super Volt.  Super Volt is certainly a hero, but quite a funny guy as well.  So, I encouraged them to draw pieces for a Valentine's Day card which I scanned and turned into greeting cards.  They had so much fun, as did both mothers supporting this endeavor.  Super Volt found his way onto the party bag as well.  

 

 Pie delighted in simply being able to use letters to express herself.  No fancy drawings, no glitz or glamour.  Just the few letters of her name accompanied by the meaningful use of other recently learned words - mommy, daddy, love.  I've always enjoyed watching my children glow in the joy of learning early literacy skills.

Peace connected with the spirit of this holiday through her writing.  Her written pieces abound with messages of unconditional love, sharing, compassion, helping others in need.  Oh. my. heart. swelled. with each new work.  Her understanding of justice and sharing and giving is just so rich and inspiring.  To see the world through her heart and eyes...

Here's a sampling of one of my favorites:

I love Valentine's Day because you get Valentine cards and people write very nice words in them.  I also like Valentine's Day because during Valentine's Day it's time to love.  Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays because I like to get crafte (crafty) with my Valentine's cards and bag.  Another reason I like Valentine's day is because people have fun and I enjoy seeing that.  And, last but not least, I like Valentine's Day because you share, smile, have fun, and it's just really fun.

I'm so thankful to have carved out moments to watch these personalities unfold this Valentine's Day.  They are wonderful, full of life, and, genuinely, full of love.  And that is worth celebrating!

Happy Valentine's Day to you my friends!

this moment {my valentine}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

May your Valentine's weekend be filled with such sweet kisses!

this moment

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

May you find occasion to stop and see the world right before your eyes!

an accident

It began as most February winter mornings do - cold and dreary with a soft layer of new fallen snow on the ground.  Our morning routine wrapped up successfully and I dropped the kids off at daycare in comfortable time.  As I headed up the familiar steep hill, I concerned my mind with the potential oncoming traffic that makes its presence known suddenly, often causing a quick veer toward the edge of the road.  The road narrow, without berm, drainage ditches lining both sides.

In an instant, my tire caught the edge of the road.  I watched as my front right side sunk deep into the ditch and I exhaled.  Time stood still and the van bounced violently from ditch to air to grass; forced left and back onto the road, missing the tree by inches.  

I cannot recall or imagine what my feet were doing.  Did I brake?  Did I accelerate?  I do not know. 

My arms steered.  Did it matter?  I do not know.

The car stopped as suddenly as it began.  There was no other car traveling toward me that would have spurred my movement off the road.  Just me.  

'What happened,' I wondered.  I do not know.

I found my coffee cup under the gas pedal emptying in gulps onto the floor.  The visor had been forced down as though shielding me from the sun.  I got out of the car, shaking, breathing.  There seemed to be little damage.  

The tire tracks in the snow, however, told a story of luck or grace or guardian angel.  The deep descent into the ditch, the air born seconds between ditch and landing, the narrow escape from front end collision.  Again, it seemed only right to breathe.  There was a prayer of gratitude in that breath.

I got back in and drove off slowly.  The van drove as though it had been on a simple adventure.  Only the steering column forgot to straighten itself.

A day later, the car has been examined and appears to have minimal damage, mostly cosmetic.  Though the memories and what-ifs haunt my every thought.  Time will heal this, I know.  Wrapped in those memories, though, is a deep thankfulness for how it happened and who was not in the van with me and that there were no other parties involved.  So, I try to hang onto the thankfulness and breathe out the what-ifs.  And know, in the breathing, that God is oh. so. good!

hands

Lately I've been noticing hands and all they do.  Have you ever really stopped to watch someone work with their hands?  I see such expression in the movement of them, such personality - swift, caring, strong and assured.  

Hands of an infant, not quite toddler, exploring his world move with slow curiosity and simple persistence.  Each move often missing its target or pulling back at the surprise found in new textures.  There is something about watching the hands of a child that just grounds me.  It is pure.

Hands fully immersed in creative moments are especially fun to watch, too.  There is an energy and authenticity in watching one create with their hands, whether its food or craft, art or music.  Creative hands seem to move as if something else, not the mind or the body to which they are attached, but some greater force inspires their movement.  Simple and beautiful.

We've had the gift and opportunity to put our own hands to work in the name of January birthday and cultural celebrations.  What fun it was to work together, our little family, on handmade gifts and cards, homemade treats, and food for sharing from our cultural traditions.  I hope you'll enjoy a peak at our hands at work!

this moment

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

May you find warmth in those closest to you...

inside my absence

To address my absence or not?  That is the question...

I've struggled lately with whether to return to this space with excuses, apologies, explanations, stories about my absence. On the one hand, I made a conscious decision to engage in my every holiday moment with family and friends.  Which, of course, meant giving up something to fit it all in.  On the other hand, my readers are equally family and friends who have come to enjoy what happens in this space.

And that's how it started - my absence.  Picking and choosing among the many wonderful priorities in my life - time and energy spent on handmade gifts, planning and hosting numerous holiday celebrations from our own Winter Solstice meal to teaching about Solstice at Pie's preschool, lots of homemade foods and real quality time with my children.  Eleven days of break from school and work, travel to grandparents, balancing a desire to celebrate all that is good with an urge to keep things slow.

But my absence was wrapped in something else - the knowledge that a big change was imminent.  Just around the corner from the holidays and celebrations was a job change for me.  One I sought out, one I drummed up the courage to ask for, one Papa and I thought about carefully and cautiously knowing that, at least for a while, it will ask much more of me.  

One the one hand, I embrace this change with all my being.  For it is a change within my work space where I long to be creative, to try new things, to view my work world with freshness.  And this job change will allow just that.  On the other hand, this change brings trepidation and angst.  I've worked quite hard to capture a family first focus, to invest in the here and now with my children, to be truly present for them.  This new job with detract from this, I know.  Papa and I both know.

So, to remove myself from this space for a while was to insert myself into an important space with my children.  Knowing that it would be temporary, yet longing to hold onto it forever. Removing myself from this space was, in some ways, a precursor to what I expected to be true - little time to invest in myself as I embark on this new adventure.

My hope is that I can hold onto the lessons learned in these two years of slowing and attempting to be present.  That in the excitement and energy and fast pace of learning new things, I remember the beauty of what is right now.  That the way I approach this change is heavily influenced by the person I've become.  That I bring to this position a sense of being in the present moment, slowing the frenzy, and helping my students gain a little life perspective along the way.

I have chosen this life.  The life of full-time mother and full-time professional.  Oh, how I admire the women in my life who have chosen a different path.  The truth is I've often wished I could be more like them - wanting to stay home with my children.  Today, though, I've arrived with confidence at this piece of my becoming.  This is who I am and I am proud of her.  Even though it sometimes means I have to admit that I can't do everything!

So, you'll have to excuse me if I'm absent more often than not.  I have a lot on my plate.  I do plan to be here.  And, hope, with patience, that you'll meet me here too.  Because as much as I had intended to use this space as my own, I've found warmth, encouragement, delight, and joy in your comments and in sharing this space with you.