dreamy

Okay.  So, I've realized for a while now where I'm frustrated with life, what I don't like about where I live or where I work, or how I do/handle various things.  And I've spent much of the last year (well probably longer than that if I want to be honest) thinking about where things would be better or different or what new job what address the things that seem missing in this one.  All this thought process is sprinkled with self reminders that life is really very good - stable job, beautiful family, yada, yada, yada.

My mantra has been (in attempt to convince myself that change won't fix the rhythm of my thoughts) "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."  It's true, no?

I'm a problem-solver, not a dreamer.  So, I think up solution after solution, only to convince myself that there's something imperfect about that solution, too.

I wonder, though, what it might be like to simply dream about what perfect looks like.  Here's my dream...

Monday morning - Wake up, without hurry or angst.  Get the children off to school.  Find my way to campus. (Yes, somehow I know there is a college campus in my 'perfect.').  Take a class.  Teach a class.  Meet with students.  Meet with faculty.   

WALK home, because my perfect involves home and campus being closely connected.  A town small enough that walking everywhere makes sense, but large enough to offer activities and culture, opportunity, whole foods and fresh foods, green space for gardening, biking, walking, and being outdoors.

I'm home to find my children just walking home from school.  We'll take a long walk together. Or go to the park. Or play in our modest yard.

Dad's home soon, too.  

Then dinner - homemade, of course.  Homework (for them and me), bath, and bed.  A peaceful sleep.

Tuesday through Friday - Much the same with activities and events peppered in, all close by and encouraging us to connect with our community.

Saturday is "stay-at-home" day as my children call it, even now.  Grocery shopping, trips into the nearby big city, concerts, culture, visits with extended family and friends.  A leisurely day that doesn't start too early or too quickly and ends even later than planned.

Sunday - I see us sitting in church - a warm, inviting space filled with people of all colors, races, and creeds.  I see the family next to us parented by two women and the pew in front of us filled with a family whose skin is darker than ours.  I see men and women my age, others younger, others older.  I see families - broken and whole.  I see friends, sitting side-by-side.

I feel life in worship, warmth from the sun shining through the stained glass windows.  I feel a love and compassion that is genuine and extended to every person who walks through the door.  I see my children feeling at home in this space, running with their friends, hiding in corners, and wanting to sit out the worship service in exchange for fellowship.

Following worship, I see my family - my parents, my sister, her children - convening at my home for dinner.  I see afternoons filled with laughter and love, food and drink, cousins and grandparents.

I know that dreams don't always come true and that perfect can simply be a state-of-mind.  But, I've enjoyed sitting in this dream and allowing it to be just that.  And, who knows. maybe. just. maybe.