Creating Christmas

Our home has been buzzing with good creative holiday preparations and I am grateful for it all.  This morning, my son recommended a movie I should watch and my gut reaction was "I don't have time." Quickly I realized how much a complaint that sentiment sounded and I thought I'd better clarify.

We've been busy, yes, very, very busy.  But I have enjoyed every. single. moment.  The busyness of making gifts has gifted me with being in the present moment with my children, adoring their own expressions of creativity.  This year, with a job change, these creations have included Papa Bear. Oh my, how wonderful it is to have him fully present in this season.  It's been a long time.  So thankful I truly am!

We've settled into a rhythm this year - a balance of homemade gifts, gifts that help and serve the world in need, and store bought gifts.  It is certainly the hand mades that seem to have brought peace and warmth into our home this holiday season.

Breads for teachers, handmade packaging, photo gifts from my own collection, and even our own Christmas Eve worship and tapestry.  So today, I share with you this gift of our creating... Enjoy!

Blessings from our home to yours!  May this holiday season be warm, filled with love and peace, and bring you lots of good reason to create!

a music corner

A music corner - something I always imagined I'd have in my own home.  Though in my days of imagining I assumed I would have ALWAYS had one.  In my college days, I would never have imagined days of not playing my flute or singing in a choir.  Even in my early adult and working days, I would never have thought I would pick up my beloved instrument only once or twice a year.

Being a musician defined my early life.  Lessons, rehearsals, ensembles, solos, concerts, church services...this is what I recall of my youth.  I excelled and knew competence.  I failed and knew defeat.  I worked hard and showed talent.  Music was part of my fiber and I knew it would always be.

So, to find that the early part of parenthood for me would be defined by many other things than music surprised me greatly.  My flute has been largely packed away.  Performances few and far between.  No solos, no ensembles, no concerts.  There is a piece of me packed away in those things hoping someday to find its way back out.  But such is the life of a parent.  The makings of a life for three little people have taken center stage.

When they were little, I dreamed of piano players and vocalists...watching them learn and master instruments.  I delighted in any sign of innate rhythm and talent.  And then I watched them show interest in soccer, t-ball, basketball, video games, gymnastics, cheerleading, art.  I love to see them each explore new things and even to shine now and then.  But I have to admit, my heart grew heavy with each non-musical interest.

But this summer, it happened.  One, then another, and still another, expressed interest in piano.  Now the sounds of simple tunes, melodies, and harmonies, wrong notes and wrong rhythms fill my home.  More so, they fill my heart.  To hear the sweet exercises in treble and bass, to help them learn their notes, to count and sing along.  This is the stuff of my dreams.  I am thrilled!  We've added viola to the offering and I've been able to play my flute along with them.  It's truly delightful!

Among all the pieces of furniture that make our house home, we've now added a music corner.  I'm not one to function well in clutter, but I welcome this clutter with open arms and a joyous voice.  Singing along and making music!

maple sugaring

We took the kids maple sugaring at the environmental education center at a near by state park.  Mr. Man and I did this last year (the temperature was 75 degrees!) and thought it would be great to bring the whole family.

It felt so wonderful to be outdoors, breathing the crisp and fresh air (the year's temp 31).  They showed us how Native Americans originally discovered, collected, and stored maple sugar.  They demonstrated the evolution in maple sugaring technologies.  They taught us how to identify, tap, and care for maple trees.  This was truly a wonderful event.

Of course, our favorite part of the day was smelling the sweet syrup boiling and steaming,  Not quite the sugar shack of old, but it did give off such a yummy smell. And, we can't leave out the tasting.  No double dipping, they told us.  It was sooo tempting!

This day, connected with nature, is a day I'm thankful for.  It's amazing how a simple day and a little learning can put the world back in perspective.  It's amazing how my children can appreciate it as well, despite the whining about the cold and the disconnection from technology.  I am simply thankful for the sweetness of it all!

a new dawn

Today marks a milestone for our family.  Pie has officially been registered for Kindergarten and this signifies a new era for us.  All three children in school, majorly reduced daycare bills, and more independent children.

I'm sure you can imagine the bittersweet wrapped in this moment.  I look on at my daughter as she confidently takes the hand of a stranger, a woman she will know as teacher.  I sense pride welling up inside me knowing she is bright and will do well on their assessments. I know, too, that she is socially oh. so. ready. to learn and play with her school-aged peers.

But I look on with a flicker of sadness, too.  She's growing so fast and I do so love this age.  I love the quickly expanding and curious minds of toddlers and preschoolers.  I so love the silly things they say and the sparkle in their eyes at simple discoveries.  I will miss these years.  I will miss my babies.



























Each age and stage has been met with delight.  Oh, there are challenges in all this growing to be sure.  Mostly my inability to step back and see the wisdom my children have already brought with them.  Despite the challenges, it is the beauty and warmth and snuggles and laughter that I remember most.  I'm thankful for this selective memory.

Today, I'm allowing myself to sit in this moment.  To feel the twinge of pain in my chest as I realize what is gone.  Just the same, I will wake tomorrow and allow myself to feel the anticipation and excitement that the future holds.  And I'm giving thanks for the past we've shared and the future we await and the present we hold for they are all so dear to me.

a funny little thing about family

My baby brother has a baby. Wow!  It seems so surreal and so amazing at the same time.

Instagram photo taken by my sister-in-law

He's lived a tough love, that brother of mine. Smarter than my sister or me by a long shot.  Talented too. Crazy talented, actually.  But he didn't like school much and got caught up in some scary stuff.  Grew up a few years later than most kids his age. Got a degree. Went to work.  Discovered he really didn't like working for others. It's that creative, artistic mind of his really.  It doesn't like being shoved in a box.  Who can blame him?

He struggled with his faith long before I did.  I used to think he was delusional and blamed his aversion to Christianity on the drugs.  Now I just think he was smarter than me - street smarts and classic intellectualism.  Funny that we both found our way to Buddhism, not that either of us would ever call ourselves Buddhist.  We are simply drawn to the search for peace within ourselves rather than relying on some external force/being.

It seems, too, that we both struggle with stereotypes and judgments that are unfairly placed on others because of things they cannot control - sexual orientation, race, physical appearance, artistic minds.  He's a tattoo artist these days - an incredibly talented artist that uses the human body as his medium. He's known the coldness and isolation brought on by stares of others as he walks by, the assumptions that he is trouble as he peruses any shopping center, the accusations that he is lazy or on drugs when he enters an emergency room to be seen by a doctor.  I work to educate others about the impact of stereotypes, discrimination, oppression.  He lives it.

We are so different.  We always have been.  So it seems so strange to watch our life paths crossing in really important ways.  And now, we share parenthood.  We will each approach this stage of life in equally different ways.  But, we will also share an authentic, deep love for our children right where they are at this very moment.  I will love his daughter for everything she is and everything she has the potential to be.  He will love my children because that is exactly who he is.

He and his wife recently shared their little one with us and my children loved meeting their new cousin.  They asked lots of questions about her growing up in a house with scary horror film posters and paintings of half naked women.  Their questions were innocent, non-judgmental.  And so we talked about choices their uncle made and the kinds of art he is interested in.  We talked about how different doesn't mean bad. They realized that they know their uncle is fun, cool, creative, generous, compassionate and so what he likes doesn't define who he is.

And they love that baby of his. Her sour faces.  Her sleepy faces.  The smallness of her hands and feet.  The softness of her skin.  The way she settles right into the curves of her mama.  The innocence in her eyes. Oh, they love that baby.  And so do I.  But more, I am thankful that this little one brought to light the deep seated emotion - care and compassion and love for my brother that I've pushed way down in my heart.  I think it's finally safe to release those feelings again.  It's funny what a baby can do!

daddy's work

Daddy's work. An imaginary place, we think. A place that is very far away.  A place where Boss Bob has an office that Daddy has to go to every now and then. Daddy's work sparks curiosity, wonderment.

It's different from Mommy's work where we go to watch movies, hear bands, see parades, snack on popcorn and hot chocolate.  Mommy's work has students, many of whom we know.  Some even babysit us.  Mommy's work has Camille (a co-worker) who buys us Disney movies, sends home balloons and stickers and leftover giveaways.  Mommy's work has a preschool where we've met many of our friends.

Mommy's work seems familiar and ordinary.  But Daddy's work seems exciting, mysterious, larger than life.

So, Daddy took us into the city to see his work.  It was a long drive.

His work was hosting a family day at a city museum, so we stopped there first.  We got to see a mansion where a woman with lots of money used to live.  The house was AMAZING!  We couldn't touch anything inside the house.  But we want to live there!  We didn't get to see the third or fourth floor of the house because no one is allowed.  They said they would have to build an ugly staircase on the outside to keep people safe if there was a fire.  That would make the beautiful house very ugly.  We still wanted to see the upper floors.

Then we drove into the city where there were skyscrapers and really big buildings.  Daddy doesn't like to pay for parking, so we parked a long way from his building.  He made us walk down a very steep hill.  But he promised we wouldn't have to walk back up.

We looked up the side of the building.  It was so AMAZING!

There were lots and lots of elevators.  We had to pick the special elevator that would take us to the 56th floor.  The screen told us to pick elevator C.

Then we walked into a see of colorless cubicles.  It was like a maze and the perfect space for hide-and-seek.  We even found donuts in one of the aisles!  Daddy wouldn't let us eat them.  We sat at the big conference tables and called our meeting to order.  We wanted so badly to run up and down the sea of beige, to take sharp turns at every corner, to race each other to the door, and to laugh altogether.  Mommy wouldn't let us run!

Daddy showed us the view from the windows.  You could see the whole city - the ball parks, the bridges, and the teensy, tiny people walking down below.  It was beautiful!

Our favorite part, though, was Daddy's desk.  He had our artwork hung all over!  And pictures of us! And a picture of Mommy!

So, this was our adventure to see Daddy's work!  We LOVE our Daddy!

Mr. Man, Peace, and Pie

She likes...

She likes peace. Because her Mama talks of peace often: her dreams of peace, her desire for peace.  World peace, peace in relationship, internal peace.  Peace connects her and her Mama.

She likes food.  Grown up food, especially homemade food.  Because her Mama thinks homegrown, homemade is healthy, important, a special gift she can give her children.  Food connects her and her Mama.

She likes tea.  Because it calms her as she settles for the night.  She and her Mama drink their tea together.  It's an evening ritual.  Tea connects her and her Mama.

She likes to write.  Telling stories on paper somehow gives life to her thoughts.  Her Mama likes to write, too.  Writing connects her and her Mama.

She likes to read. Out loud to her baby sister.  Conquering hard words with triumph.  Soaking in the story.  Her Mama loves to listen to her read.  Reading connects her and her Mama.

She likes to breathe.  A slow meditative breath that calms the mind and soul.  She softens beautifully when she and her Mama breathe together.  Such tender moments designed intentionally to calm her anxiety or help her through illness.  Breathing connects her and her Mama.

Then again, breathing connects all of life.

feeding the masses

We thought food might be the "thing."  You know, the thing that would cause tension or arguments or our need to bail on this endeavor of cohabitation.  After all, we were two different families each with their own well defined eating habits.

Our habits include eating whole foods, not processed - buying only items not individually packaged or ingredients rather than convenience products.  Vegetables and fresh bread - whole wheat at that.  Pork and chicken when we choose to include meat.  Of course our meal concept extends way beyond the food we eat, but also on what we eat.  Reusable plates, cups, clothe napkins, wash clothes for cleaning spills, and so on.

My sister's family accustomed to white bread, white bagels, sugary cereals, and meat - red meat - and lots of it.  Fresh vegetables and fruit.  The top requests of her children - Nutella bagels and mac-n-cheese (Kraft, duh).

There would require compromise and flexibility to be sure.  So, the white bread found its way into my pantry as did the sugary cereals.  My children were absolutely delighted.  And for a few days ate like they had never eaten before - Lucky Charms, Cocoa Crispies, white bagels, crackers, cookies.  They were in their glory.  To my pleasant surprise, the novelty wore off quickly.

New foods were introduced to both families and we all found new favorites - tofu tacos and pot roast with mash potatoes.  A myriad of fruits and vegetables (raw and prepared) were served at every meal with few leftovers to be packaged and stored.  

Though the phrase "I don't like that" or "My mom says I don't like that" squeaked out on occasion, I think we can count our menu planning a success!

Once the menu was planned and the meal prepared we settled into our favorite time of day - dinner on the driveway.  With eleven mouths and a dining room to serve six, we had to be creative.  Card tables and patio tables, table cothes, cushions, gliders, and more. Each night we transformed our driveway into a dining room (which of course became the friendly talk of the neighborhood)!  The garage made perfect shelter on the rare event of rain.

I'd forgotten how hot Texas is and how new this experience would be for my sister's littles.  We did so enjoy the outdoor meals, with dinner segueing into wonderful outdoor play - soccer, chalk, bikes and scooters.  This time treasured as the rare moment for grown ups to talk, sometimes leisurely, sometimes not. 

The dinner table has always conjured up a feeling of love - the place for rest, sustenance, conversation, connection, laughter.  A place where the world disappears and all that really matters in our lives is sitting right there with us.  I'm thankful we allowed dinner to remain a sacred space, not allowing the things that could divide us to define this time together. 

Oh we did honor. every. single. minute.