this moment {sweet praise from Daddy}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

birdsong

Spring has sprung a little early this year.  That fact, despite my new found connection with the rhythms of nature, makes me very, very happy.  You see, the sun doesn't often shine in our corner of the world.  So, when it does, we all breathe a little easier and walk a little lighter.

Sunday morning, I found myself in a spot that has often served as a place of connection and renewal.  My parents have a quaint house on the better part of an acre surrounded by undeveloped woodlands (not owned by them).  This is not the house in which I grew up, but have come to love.

This place has always allowed for me to leave behind the hectic pace of life and connect with the slower, more patient pace of nature.  When I was first married, it was often a weekend retreat spot.  Now that we live closer I've found myself immersed in their sanctuary more often by accident than by design.

This is a place where the hardness in my soul cannot take hold.  Where it drowns and the inner sanctum of peace fills me.  

This is a place where my children and I spend our moments "in the moment", leaving the angst of planning and weekly preparations behind.  

This is a very special place.

So, I found myself there this glorious Sunday morning, quite by accident really.  The cool air whipped against my skin.  And I heard the most beautiful symphony coming from every direction.  Each tree seemed to have in it a small section of the chorus.  And soon, I saw them.  Some small, some large, some colorful, some plain.  Each singing freely to the brilliantly blue sky.  And I stopped to listen.  For. a. long. while.

                                                   

And my soul, if only for a minute, felt safe and strong.  Welcome Spring!  Welcome!

this moment {my first bread}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

what's in a name

I'm switching gears a bit these days.  I've been quite concerned about anonymity and protecting my family as I've entered this very visible space.  And I've struggled with how to make my family stories personal without calling each, particularly my children, by name.

But I've discovered that names are so critical to the personalization of a story.  "My oldest" or "my daughter" just doesn't describe the intimacy in our relationships.  It's been awkward to write and presumably awkward to read.  So, I'm moving to names.

I can't, of course, move to their real names.  I could, but I'm still paranoid and protective.  So I won't.

But, I will move to names that fully describe them and their little (or sometimes not-so-little) personalities.  

My husband will be Papa since that's actually what we all call him.  Sometimes it's even Papa Bear (as seen in this post via the large PB tatoo'd on his belly!).  

My son will be Mr. Man which is often what I call him in those awe-filled moments in which he seems to grow and mature before my very eyes.  He does that quite often, you know.  He'd like to be called Annoying, but I just can't get beyond the sense of name calling that would be.  I'm overruling this one.

My oldest daughter will be Peace for oh. so. many. reasons.  First, because she knows that the idea of peace is important to me.  Second, because she's adopted the same value.  Third, because her favorite shape is the peace sign and her wardrobe is splattered with peace signs in every size and color.  Lastly, because she brings peace to her every day.

My youngest will be Pie because she is yummy and delicious and squishy and scrumptious.  She loves to hug and snuggle and provides more comfort than a warm apple pie following the first chill in the autumn air.

So there you have it.  A fresh introduction to the family you've been reading about for over a year.  I hope you enjoy them by name.  I know I simply enjoy telling our story.

parallel play

Strange how life works at times, isn't it?

Peace has been having a tough time at school.  She has a bully in her classroom.  

I work with young adults, just beyond their teens.  So, I know how difficult school can be for girls.  My staff is constantly facilitating programs and discussion groups on the notion of Mean Girls.  Mediation training is one of the primary focal points of our staff training and we spend many, many hours working through conflict and bully issues each year.

I just thought I wouldn't need to worry until she was older.  Not first grade, right?!

What strikes me is the lifespan of bully behavior.  The tentacles that have grown on this ugliest of beasts.

Recently, one of my students violated campus policy.  My job is to investigate and pursue these matters, so I did.  At the onset of the situation, mother and daughter marched into my office to threaten my job and threaten the institution if I continued to pursue the matter.  As any good administrator would, I continued my work.  Strings were pulled.  Legal language was thrown at me in one email after another.  Accusations were made.  Complaints escalated up the proverbial ladder.

And little by little, I began to feel like that seventh grade girl sitting alone at the cafeteria table wondering what she did to be so ostracized from her peer group.  Do you remember that sinking feeling as the world  caved in?  Do you remember the isolation?  Do you remember the stares?  Do you remember the tears?  Do you remember the deafening silence of the telephone each night after school?  Do you remember the moment the note or letter or email arrived from a member of the 'in' crowd? the anticipation? the sheer defeat in realizing that the letter was filled with hate?

It seems that I didn't have to think back to junior high to relate to Peace.  It seems I could use my current example as fuel to strengthen her.  It seems she had much to teach me through this situation as well.

One night, as we discussed, she said "I don't understand why people get mean as they get older.  When I was in preschool, all the children played together and nobody was mean.  Now, so many kids are mean."

She continued, "I just want to invite everyone who is being mean to our house.  And I'll just tell them that being mean needs to stop.  That we should all just be nice to each other so we can all be happy and learn together."  

What I learned from her is that some people are mean, for whatever reason.  I know from experience that meanness often comes from feeling threatened, insecure, or bullied in other situations.  It's an expression of power and control or the lack thereof. 

What I learned from her is that we can still believe that everyone has within them the ability to be kind.

What I learned from her is that forgiving others makes things better, if only for her own view of the situation becoming more optimistic.

What I learned from her is that peace of mind doesn't come from others, but from inside each of us.  If we choose to share that peace, others will become peaceful.

What I learned from her is that choosing to share peace is hard and requires resilience and persistence.  But, it can be done!

Neither situation has reached its resolve, but both are looking brighter.  I'm thankful that we had each other to lean on in this.  While I'm not naive, I hope it will be a long time before either of us encounters a bully again.  When it does, I hope she and I will continue playing side-by-side.

this moment {favorite book}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

more on our swing

A few folks have asked for more information on the swing in our living room seen in these posts - this moment and Swinging

This swing/hammock/chair thingy is the best thing we've ever brought into our home.  My sister has one for her children which came as a recommendation from her Occupational Therapist.  When my oldest daughter visited she fell in love.  Between my sister and me, we've had seven kids use the hammocks for a wide variety of reasons - to create a cocoon or safe space when over stimulated, as an indoor physical activity during long winters, for gentle rocking when upset, to read and write in a quiet space, and to swing and fly as high as the sky.  The uses are as limitless as your child's imagination.

My sister found this hammock at hammocks.com

Installation

We found the ceiling joist fairly easily.  There were formerly big dark brown beams running the width of our ceiling which we removed a few years ago. Ick.  But they helped us locate the joists.  My sister has her's mounted in a wide open archway/doorway which leaves plenty of swing space between two rooms.  Either way, you need a header or joist to mount the swing.

We screwed two eye bolts into the ceiling approximately 18 inches apart.  Using outdoor swing chain and hooks, we linked the hammock ends to the hooks and mounted the chain through the eye bolts in the ceiling.  I'm not sure if my photos will help make this more clear, but I've added them.

We did choose to loop the chain between the two eye bolts, so we can simply flip the hammock over the chain to get it out of the way.  This is perfect for cleaning or having guests over without having them trip over the swing.  My older two kids are tall enough to reach the hammock and pull it back down when they want to use it. 

I'm happy to answer questions if you are considering bringing a swing/hammock into your home!  Happy swinging!