this moment {under her wing}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend full of simple moments.

this moment {snuggling}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a weekend filled with snuggles.

this moment {playing in style}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a weekend filled with your own moments just hanging around.

busy summer fun

The cousins have been together for almost three full weeks and there has been lots of fun.  I'll spare you the up's and down's of living together, the eleven of us, for now.  I can tell you I've learned much about myself and my children.  I've treasured the time spent getting to know my nieces and nephews.  But for now, I simply want to share a bit about the fun we are having. 

Forgive the many, many pictures.  There are LOTS more where these came from.  Hopefully the sheer number will give you a small sense of the way time is flying around here.

We've been:

:: celebrating the Fourth of July with concert and fireworks

:: dressing in red, white, and blue

:: picnicking in grand fashion

:: setting off a few of our own fireworks

 

 

 

:: hosted our first joint fashion show after much success with these earlier versions - style and reply

:: emptied every closet in the house to supply our show

:: struck a pose, or two, or eight!

 :: ate watermelon for the first time (thanks Grandpa!)

:: attended a minor league baseball game thanks to tickets earned by my two readers

:: snuggled with Grandma

:: sang with the crowd

:: celebrated a home team win

::  ran the bases

:: played a game of our own in family teams

:: patiently taught the littles how to play

:: proudly watched the older children do it on their own

:: celebrated successes -  our own and that of others

It really has been a grand time - an oh.so.busy. time - but simply splendid!

this moment {cousins}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Wishing you a beautiful summer weekend!

a sweet gift

Some times Mama's need a break.  A break from holding the baby, comforting him, soothing him, knowing he's tired, recognizing signs of hunger, especially on a particularly cranking day.  I remember those days from when my children were babies.I remember that feeling: I just can't hold this baby one minute longer.

I saw this on my sister's face a few days ago.  Her look of gentle exhaustion.  Knowing she would do whatever her baby needed of her.  But longing to have just a few minutes where her body was her own.

Then I remembered the most precious gift my husband would sometimes give me.  When I wore this look, he would gently take our child and walk.  He would show our children the world - the leaves, the trees, the sky, the house.  He would talk so quietly, his voice so soothing it would settle any fear.

Often each child would find their way into peaceful slumber.  And he would keep walking.

I've seen this same magic from my own father.  Countless hours he's spent walking sleeping babies.  I'm sure he would not use the word countless, though.

I nudged Papa Bear and he recognized that look on my sister's face. He moved swiftly, but softly to scoop up her child.  And they walked. And walked.  Eventually, this child, too, lulled into a peaceful place. 

Ahhhh!  Such a gift from these men in my life.  Such a beautiful gift!

Bumps

This morning has been one of healing.  Yes, the first melt-down has occurred.  I'm thoroughly embarrassed to say that it was me that initiated it.  Aaaaggg!

I know myself well enough to know that the constant pull for attention through questions, and giggles, and conflicts to be resolved, and "look-at-me's" would surface much of my anxiety.  

As I sit writing this morning, there is at my feet creating and drawing and children seeking help, inclusion, and affirmation.

Armed with this self-awareness, I wondered how I would do having a house full of family.  I wondered how I would continue the self care I've worked so hard to develop.  I wondered how I would handle the bumps as we attempt to blend these two families.  

My first observation is that the meaning of "no" is quite difficult to determine when you blend two households.  I find myself inclined to respond as such to a question posed by my nieces or nephews only to freeze in the conversation inside my head: Would my sister allow this?  If she would refuse as well, would she stick to it?  How will this effect my family? Will allowing them make it difficult to hold my ground with my own children?

I'm recalling a book I started to read, but abandoned.  The author, a sociologist, wrote of her own parenting experience in which she denied little and lived the value of including the voice of her children in everything.  My initial reaction was as mixed as my emotions are this morning.  Surely the idea of valuing children's voices, seeing them as part of the whole rather than 'less than,' empty vessels devoid of any ability to have a meaningful opinion, is a beautiful value to espouse. Isn't it equally important to teach boundaries and respect and limits and coping?  At what point do you trust your own instincts, rather than the desires of a four-year old?  

Something about her writing made me want to read on.  

Something about her writing made me want to scream.

Last night, I went with those instincts and said 'no.'  I did it with too much force, too much emotion, too much attachment.  I took it all personally - the ignoring, the sibling rivalry, the tired displays of disrespect.  And I know better.

I am mixed with feelings of guilt juxtaposed with feelings of justification at my disciplinary explosion.  Not the way I did it, but that it needed to be done.  My behavior has alienated at least one of my nieces and, somehow, I'll need to work to mend this relationship.  We can.  I am certain of this.  It seems strange, though, how much one tense evening can change the shape of an otherwise fun and full experience.

Today, we hit the reset button.  We'll set more clear expectations. Of ourselves. Of each other.

We'll include the voices of our children in that conversation.  

And we'll move on - one lesson learned, one bump behind us.