a funny little thing about family

My baby brother has a baby. Wow!  It seems so surreal and so amazing at the same time.

Instagram photo taken by my sister-in-law

He's lived a tough love, that brother of mine. Smarter than my sister or me by a long shot.  Talented too. Crazy talented, actually.  But he didn't like school much and got caught up in some scary stuff.  Grew up a few years later than most kids his age. Got a degree. Went to work.  Discovered he really didn't like working for others. It's that creative, artistic mind of his really.  It doesn't like being shoved in a box.  Who can blame him?

He struggled with his faith long before I did.  I used to think he was delusional and blamed his aversion to Christianity on the drugs.  Now I just think he was smarter than me - street smarts and classic intellectualism.  Funny that we both found our way to Buddhism, not that either of us would ever call ourselves Buddhist.  We are simply drawn to the search for peace within ourselves rather than relying on some external force/being.

It seems, too, that we both struggle with stereotypes and judgments that are unfairly placed on others because of things they cannot control - sexual orientation, race, physical appearance, artistic minds.  He's a tattoo artist these days - an incredibly talented artist that uses the human body as his medium. He's known the coldness and isolation brought on by stares of others as he walks by, the assumptions that he is trouble as he peruses any shopping center, the accusations that he is lazy or on drugs when he enters an emergency room to be seen by a doctor.  I work to educate others about the impact of stereotypes, discrimination, oppression.  He lives it.

We are so different.  We always have been.  So it seems so strange to watch our life paths crossing in really important ways.  And now, we share parenthood.  We will each approach this stage of life in equally different ways.  But, we will also share an authentic, deep love for our children right where they are at this very moment.  I will love his daughter for everything she is and everything she has the potential to be.  He will love my children because that is exactly who he is.

He and his wife recently shared their little one with us and my children loved meeting their new cousin.  They asked lots of questions about her growing up in a house with scary horror film posters and paintings of half naked women.  Their questions were innocent, non-judgmental.  And so we talked about choices their uncle made and the kinds of art he is interested in.  We talked about how different doesn't mean bad. They realized that they know their uncle is fun, cool, creative, generous, compassionate and so what he likes doesn't define who he is.

And they love that baby of his. Her sour faces.  Her sleepy faces.  The smallness of her hands and feet.  The softness of her skin.  The way she settles right into the curves of her mama.  The innocence in her eyes. Oh, they love that baby.  And so do I.  But more, I am thankful that this little one brought to light the deep seated emotion - care and compassion and love for my brother that I've pushed way down in my heart.  I think it's finally safe to release those feelings again.  It's funny what a baby can do!