gratitude - day four

Sometimes the little things in life bring the most joy.  Today, there is not much reflection behind my gratitude.  Just simple joy.

I am thankful for the seemingly endless stream of notes and drawings and sentiments of love given freely from little fingers.

For this, I am thankful!

gratitude - day three

I've recently found God in a place that should not surprise me - nature.  The diversity of color, the calming peace of water, the guiding light of a full moon, the intricacy of a spider web all speak of a connectedness I can only attribute to a Creator.  Spending time in nature brings clarity, renewed spirit, and a greater sense of being intimately connected with something far greater than I.  I am thankful I've taken the time to see - truly see - the glorious nature around me.  

In the green of the grass and the quiet hum of the early morning breeze, I've also developed a yearning to bring only this nature to our table.  It feels good and whole and right for my family, but it also feels like the Earth has asked me to do this.  Each time I prepare a meal that comes from the Earth I hear a sigh of thankfulness from all that surrounds me.  

Nature, connection, sustenance, Earth - for these, I am thankful!

gratitude - day two

To be a working mom, is to continually struggle with this idea of balance.  How much time is enough with your children?  How much time should be dedicated to a job I long to do well? What about "me" time or "us" time for hubby and me?

The balancing act is a delicate one.  I've read many blogs written by women who seem to do this with grace and beauty.  I've never felt much like a ballerina in this dance.  More like an elephant on a high wire, to be sure.

So, today, I am thankful for my family.  This family who has given me support and accolades when I've worked hard to make them my priority and forgiveness and compassion when I've failed.  I am thankful for my husband who quietly sits with my incessant exploration to find this perfect balance and my ridiculous attempts to be all things to all people.  I am thankful that he lets me try and never says "it can't be done."  I am thankful for three amazing children who constantly remind me that they will fly only when I remember to let go.

I am thankful for my parents who listen, and worry (but never let me know that they do).  I am thankful they are near and very present in our lives.  I am thankful for extended family, those near and far.  I continue to be amazed that each one comes into our lives at just the right time.

Family - for this, I am thankful!

Mom, Dad, and brother on his wedding day

My Grandmother

My family, my brother, and his new wife

gratitude - day one

It is that time of year . . .the time to pause, reflect, and realize how much we have to be thankful for.  As I stop, and I mean really stop, this year, I am truly amazed at the abundant blessing I call my life.  There is so much gratitude to share, so much to be thankful for, so this week I am dedicating each post to some of the blessings most on my heart and mind.  To be sure, there will be much unsaid, many thanks overlooked.  Nonetheless, I share just a fraction of my gratitude with you this week.

I begin with giving thanks for the surgery that gifted me with four solitary, reflective, undistracted weeks to do the inner work I believe so much in doing.  Since the surgery, I've spent many long days and weeks unearthing the things about me that I hate to admit.  I've given voice to the paradox that defines my current circumstances - living in a place that gives me nature and space to breath, but is a place I don't feel I quite belong.  I've been intentional about re-prioritizing my time and energy, dedicating most of it back to my family.  I've included in my new priorities a reconnection with nature - both for its beauty and for it bounty in our kitchen and home. I've questioned, and explored, and strengthened my connection to God while growing farther from the church.  I've surprised myself with confidence in all these things.

I'm not sure what possessed my heart to truly grasp the opportunity to live in silence for those four weeks.  How easy it would have been to sit in front of the television.  How easy it could have been to devour novel after novel.  Some how, my heart new what a gift this time was.  Some how, I settled into "not doing" something every minute of the day.

Photo taken after picking tomatoes from our garden at the end of a work day.

I am a different person today - a mere 10 months later.  This person, still evolving, is more authentic, more real, more me than I have ever been.  For this, I am thankful!

Swinging

I have a swing in my family room.  Yep, a swing.  It's really a hammock modified to function like a swing.

And . . . it's hanging from the ceiling - 2 eye bolts and metal chain links! I wish you could have seen my husband's face when I told him this is how we would be hanging the swing.  Ahem.

My sister has one, too.  The inspiration came from her daughter's physical therapist.  A great core strength builder for the many cold, indoor months.  Though I suspect it would be great for kid's with social/emotional sensitivities, too.  Children can wrap themselves up in the fabric of the swing and rock gently or simply hide from the stimuli around them.

The swing was a gift for my oldest daughter.  A gift from MY sister.  And, yes, there was a moment when I thought that gift was going to end my marriage (alright, a bit dramatic, but...).

But, for an incredibly active 6-year-old little girl who could leave most traditional use-your-imagination toys behind, this swing is the best thing since sliced bread.  My daughter is quite creative.  Just give her a pencil and sketch pad, or markers and paper, or stamps and glitter glue and you'll see magic right before your very eyes. She's just not much into toys.  I'm okay with that.

But she LOVES this swing.  Each time she swings she discovers a new trick or new directions to go.  In some ways, this swing puts her in her natural element. - flying, free, soaring, and creating.  It's magic just to watch.

So, I love this swing because it really fits her.  And there's something about watching your own child fit so seamlessly into her surroundings.  It's as if one day that swing will swallow her and she'll be one with it.  It's beautiful and peaceful and silly and giggly all at once.

 

Even my husband has come to love that swing . . .until the day arrives that he needs to repair the holes we made in the ceiling!

Care Team

Hi!  It's me - G.  Remember me.  I've been away a while.  I was sick.  The fever, chills, sweats, sleeping all the time, but can't sleep, can't read, can't write, can't think, cough, cough, cough kind of sick.  For over a week kind of sick.  

Well the fever is mostly gone.  Thank Heaven.  

And my energy is slowly returning.  Thank Heaven.

And, today, for the first time in a week, the creative juices started flowing again.  Thank Heaven.

All the while, there has been an amazing care team working around me.  My husband quickly picked up the care-taking parent role and changed his work schedule to take kids to school, pick them up, etc.  Homework, baths, bed - yep - he did that, too.  I'd include dinner, but I'm one of those lucky gals that usually has dinner on the table when I get home from work anyway!

There was even a worrier in the mix.  "Mom, I can't sleep in my room because I'm worried about you.  I want you to feel better.  Can I sleep here with you?" she says half because she really means it and half because she really wants to sleep in bed with me. (Yes, she did follow that up with a "Mom, can you scratch my back?"). Sigh.

They noticed things were different.  We couldn't share cups (yes, we usually do); we couldn't finish each other's leftovers (yes, we usually do).  Mom's asleep on the couch, again, so we'd better play in the other room.  They slipped seamlessly into a new rhythm while I rested and recovered.  Amazing...simply amazing.

I sure hope I will not be sick like this again for many years to come.  If I have to, though, I'm thankful for my care team.

Photograph taken by our 3-year-old who took over as camera lady while I was sick.

this moment

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:
 
{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

this moment (another game face)

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.