gratitude - day one

It is that time of year . . .the time to pause, reflect, and realize how much we have to be thankful for.  As I stop, and I mean really stop, this year, I am truly amazed at the abundant blessing I call my life.  There is so much gratitude to share, so much to be thankful for, so this week I am dedicating each post to some of the blessings most on my heart and mind.  To be sure, there will be much unsaid, many thanks overlooked.  Nonetheless, I share just a fraction of my gratitude with you this week.

I begin with giving thanks for the surgery that gifted me with four solitary, reflective, undistracted weeks to do the inner work I believe so much in doing.  Since the surgery, I've spent many long days and weeks unearthing the things about me that I hate to admit.  I've given voice to the paradox that defines my current circumstances - living in a place that gives me nature and space to breath, but is a place I don't feel I quite belong.  I've been intentional about re-prioritizing my time and energy, dedicating most of it back to my family.  I've included in my new priorities a reconnection with nature - both for its beauty and for it bounty in our kitchen and home. I've questioned, and explored, and strengthened my connection to God while growing farther from the church.  I've surprised myself with confidence in all these things.

I'm not sure what possessed my heart to truly grasp the opportunity to live in silence for those four weeks.  How easy it would have been to sit in front of the television.  How easy it could have been to devour novel after novel.  Some how, my heart new what a gift this time was.  Some how, I settled into "not doing" something every minute of the day.

Photo taken after picking tomatoes from our garden at the end of a work day.

I am a different person today - a mere 10 months later.  This person, still evolving, is more authentic, more real, more me than I have ever been.  For this, I am thankful!