my favorite things

Have I told you that my favorite color is purple?

Here are a few reasons why . . .

Each of these purple beauties are in my everyday surroundings - my commute, my home, my parent's gardens.  Each of these spaces is a little safe haven filled with Creation.  Each safe haven serves to help me feel more and more connected with the world around me.  A simple color which holds so much!

What's your favorite color?

Tuesday evening

It's soccer season.  Which for Papa Bear, Mr. Man, and Peace means soccer practice on Tuesday evenings.  But for Mama and Pie it means some special time together.  Oh how I love Tuesday evening.

We are in charge of dinner preparations for our hungry athletes, but there is plenty of room for play as well.  

Pie is certainly shaping into quite the little dinnertime helper.  She washes dishes, sets the table, and even cooks - as much as Mama will let her.  Because we all know she would attempt to drain the hot water from the pasta if given a little too much space to do so.  Kitchen help is always welcomed with a little extra in the watchful eye department.  She is so eager and so proud of herself and I love her company.  What do they say - a spoonful of sugar!

Play, however, is where she gets to take the lead.  It usually involves chalk and lots of curiosity.  One week she asked me to trace her with chalk.  Then she traced me.  This week, we made a hopscotch that went all the way to 40.  She wanted it to go to 100, but we ran out of driveway.  What I love is her take on the rules of play.  She placed rocks in every even number and jumped ON the squares with the rocks.  The best thing about one-on-one time with Pie is that there are no older siblings to tell her that she's doing it all wrong!

We like to discover and this week it was the pond behind our backyard.  I'm not the most adventurous person, so climbing on the old docks with rotting wood and creaking boards made me a little nervous.  But Pie led the way with confidence.  I only had to help her a bit with navigation.  She was sure we were headed the wrong way even as we completed the circle in our neighbor's backyard.  I'm afraid we would have walked to Mars if we had trusted her sense of direction. Ahem!

Oh, did I mention that she only likes to wear her dressy shoes, no matter the terrain? Sigh!

Well, we made it home just fine and dinner was served just in time for a hungry crew. 

How's that for a Tuesday evening?!

destination: here

It has been a long, unplanned, and unexpected hiatus for me in this online world.  I can't say there has been any good reason for my absence.  

Sure, we are busy.  

But we are always busy.  Until now, I've been able to squeeze in a little writing at least a few times each week.  For some reason, I was allowing other things to distract my energies.

We haven't been on vacation.  

In fact, we still have two full weeks of school left. At least for my littles anyway. My students have been gone for a week now.  If you work in education, you may know that this only means that the frenzied pace has slowed to a steady buzz.  It certainly hasn't been 'vacation.'  The slowing is welcome, though.

Nothing is wrong.  

In fact, quite the contrary.  I have been reflecting on the journey I began more than a year ago.  A journey to understand the growing tension I had with religion which was in sharp contrast with my lifelong commitment to worship.  I wasn't doubting my faith, just the everyday things I was experiencing that seemed counter to the God I had come to know.  I identified as Christian, but everything Christian around me didn't seem at all - well - Christian.

I knew somewhere on this journey, I would discover a little more of me.  And that I have.  When I began the journey, I was certain change was on the horizon.  There have been more than a few blog posts about the imminence and anticipation of change.  What I've discovered is that there is no destination on this journey. No arrival point.  

I've come to love the journey itself.  I love the discovery of new ways of worship.  I love the joy of each moment spent really being with my children. I love what giving more of myself in very purposeful ways has unearthed.  

I love that being critical of others makes me physically uncomfortable.  Early in my writing I talked often about how judgmental I can be.  I still am. And I will always play right into a conversation which allows me to give voice to my thoughts.  I've tried to stifle my words.  That doesn't usually go well.  So, I've stopped trying to contain them.  I have, however, allowed myself to feel anxious as conversations turn belittling and, instead, try to use my words to explore all the possibilities that may be considered. This has been a gift of meditation.  I can't explain this, but I know.

Perhaps I needed some space.

I have to be honest.  When I first realized that this journey was not going to lead to some dramatic life change, no move to the east coast, no new job, no new church, I was a little sad mad.  It didn't make sense to me that I would stay where I am, doing what I'm doing, living here.  I wanted grand - doctoral program, a new job somewhere in Massachusetts (don't ask, I don't know why).  

So when I found fullness despite all the things that make me sad, yet amidst all the things that make me happy, I couldn't write.  I really didn't know what to say or how to say it. Space and time have given clarity and peace to this discovery.  Somehow I've finally come to understand that every situation brings dissonance and resolution - no matter how far I hope to run from the things that aren't perfect.  

 

There is a chord progression that fills my soul so that I feel warmth and light pour from my body.  Oh, how I wish I could let you hear it.  Only recently have I realized that these two notes follow a long phrase filled with musical tension bringing the song to a place of peace.  So too is life -  a series of tensions, of dissonance, wrapped in beauty and love and peace - no matter where I am or what I am doing.

Looking back at these last few paragraphs, I'm thankful for the pause.  I also think I am ready to get back to writing.  I think I will!

Peace...

this moment {sweet feet}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

mother's day and other happenings

There's a lot going on here these days - baby showers, mother's day celebrations, graduations, May Day celebrations, soccer, gymnastics.  It's all moving so fast.  So, here's a recap of our weekend!  I hope yours was as joyous and full as ours.

Happy Belated Mother's Day!

We are...
:: Getting all dressed up for aunt's baby shower, a first for Pie and Peace
:: Watching the new mama grow, both physically and in love with her first child
:: Being slightly bored at the baby shower as the grown ups talked of breastfeeding and lives changing and diapers and daddy's
:: Finding cell phones to play on and an old bag of legos saved for some day
:: Falling fast asleep in the most awkward position on the way home from the shower
:: Laughing at baby sister sleeping that way
:: Being forced back up the stairs on the morning of Mother's Day with hushes and whispers and excitement
:: Acting surprised as Pie shares with me their plans to serve breakfast in bed and reassuring Mr. Man and Peace who think me knowing has ruined the day
:: Listening joyfully to the directions and patience of Papa as the breakfast feast is prepared
:: Loving each and every handmade gift given with all the love and joy and pride these three littles can share
:: Sharing that love and joy and thankfulness with my own mother and our mother-to-be
:: Lamenting the recent passing of mothers of two of my students and knowing what a difficult day this must be for these two young women
:: Finding comfort in the response of our college community for both women in the time of tragedy
:: Knowing I'm the luckiest woman and mother in the world and wishing I could stop time and hang onto the moment. just. a. little. longer.

Peace

this moment {sisters}

Linking with SouleMamma and many others:

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

on my commute

How many people do you know that can say they absolutely love their commute to work?  Well, I do!

I've come to know the rhythm and flow of the seasons through my commute.  While I drive these 12 miles nearly every day, it seems I never travel the same road twice. One day I might see land; where heavy rain fall might leave a river the next.  

In the winter, I see snow and ice, barren trees and slumbering fields.  Yet, I see cattle and horses and farmers working despite the frosty temps.

In the summer, I see corn fields visibly lengthening each new week and soy beans in alternating fields.  I see colorful wild flowers which help me track the time - orange day lilies, light purple and white bells, and yellow ragweed (itchy nose, ahem!).

In autumn, I see beautiful shades of green, brown, orange, red, and yellows in the trees and in the fields.  The fields and woods always seem to speak of slowing and resting as fall arrives.

But spring!  Oh, spring!  The earth awakens and I can almost touch the energy coming from nature.  The fields are plowed in neat little rows.  The greens appear, every known shade.  The green of the grass.  The bright green of trees budding juxtaposed with the deep green pines.  The emerald green of the roadside wild flowers almost buzzing as my van drives along.  

Then there are the birds and butterflies of spring.  Just last week I counted nearly 100 flying creatures whipping joyfully near my van.  The butterflies orange, black, and brown.  Small birds dawning the same colors.  Sparrows, robins, blue birds and red.  Even wild turkeys! I hear the woodpeckers, too.

Sometimes, though not as often as I should, I surrender to the urge to stop, and look, and smell, and breathe, (and take pictures!). I'm thinking that when I do, I'll share the joys of the week's commute with you and hope that you enjoy them too.  Here's what's happening this week on my commute:

dirt

We're getting a new backyard!  Really!

Our old backyard spent most of its time under water, tired and spent, muddy and cracked.  So, we brought in A LOT of dirt and we're starting from scratch.  We're not done.  Not even close.  In fact, the first loads of dirt arrived almost three weeks ago.  So, you might imagine that this mama is growing impatient.

What better solution for impatience than to play.  And play in that dirt we did. 

Notice Pie in her dress and pink sparkly shoes!  Yep, it was spontaneous and I would never have dreamed of stopping their play.  That was, of course, until Peace found the blade from gardening sheers buried. Yikes!  

So we moved on to the machinery left by the workers.  Yes, they left the keys in the ignition.  No, we did not turn it on!

Like much of the play in our home, each child required a turn in the spotlight.  Each had to take their turn climbing, posing, jumping to Papa.  Yet, each made a memory that will last a lifetime.  All from a little dirt!

where do you see?

This morning we talked about where we see God.  For a quick and practical demonstration on this absolutely glorious, sunshiny day, we set the kids loose with the camera - to find God.  Each of us took a few photos of something that helped us see God.  Here are the places we found our Creator:

:: in the beautiful pinks and blues blossoming throughout the yard

:: in all things because God makes all things, even toy cell phones!

:: in sky and trees

:: in newly potted plants

:: in young sprouts of swiss chard

:: in a toad hopping through the backyard (a little blurry was the best I could get)

:: in the whimsical moments of children

:: in a child snuggling gently into her parents arms and falling asleep a few hours too early

Where do you see your Creator today?