welcome back letter

It's been so long, my friends.  And a busy, busy summer since I've last written.  It occurred to me as I sat at the computer that it was just officially summer the last time I wrote anything of substance.  Now summer is over, despite the fact that the calendar says there are five weeks left to enjoy.  (I work in higher education, so my summer ends the day the first set of student athletes arrive to campus.)

As the last few weeks raced by, I thought often of this space and my few faithful readers.  I've missed you much.  I've missed the loving and supportive comments of this space.  I've missed the understanding.  I've missed the opportunity to use words in my own process of meaning making.  I have to be honest, though.  I would not have traded a. single. moment. of my summer for the opportunity to write more.

Writing has given me the gift of considering the present: stopping long enough to ponder what each moment means and putting each story on paper so the moments take on a life of their own.  But this summer, I lived in the moment.  For. the. first. time. of. my. life...

I know this because I did not think of work when I was home with my family.  

I know this because I have hundreds of memories that keep playing on the screen of my mind - the sound of two girls arguing and solving their conflict; the mimicking of teaching in their makeshift classroom; the modeling of outfits complete with bracelets and necklaces and high-heeled shoes; the red-eyed, wet-haired exhaustion of children who spent the day in the pool; the sweet chatter of cousins at bedtime; the silly songs with lyrics made up by older and younger children alike; the snuggling; the quiet walks around the pond (yes, with all 8 children).

I know this because my heart leaps at Mr. Man impersonating his younger cousin. I feel the pang of excitement when my text tone sounds, hoping it will be a picture or a greeting or an update about the daily goings-on of my sister and her children.  I know this because I share any news with my husband and children and they are equally excited and interested.  Together, we share our goings-on with them.

I know this because I've learned so much about myself and my own children that I would have never realized without this summer.  Things like I can survive without being in complete control or Peace and Pie thrive in very social environments, while Mr. Man and I need some quiet alone time often or I may worry about choices my sister makes, but they are hers and they are made with thought and care and love, as are mine, each in the hopes of meeting the needs of our families, neither exactly right and neither exactly wrong.

So, I hope you'll understand my absence.  I hope you'll return to read my musings again.  And I hope I'll bring something different to this space because of the difference this summer has made in my real-time life.

Peace,

G