Meditation Reflection

Within my first few weeks practicing meditation, I've tried methods that focus on breath, noise, or thoughts and exploring my body.  I've had more luck with some methods over others, but have enjoyed trying them all.  I'm wondering if I can put into words what I feel happening during and as a result of meditation.

I've been introduced to the idea of meditation as allowing what is - in other words, not judging the many thoughts that come racing into the meditating mind, acknowledging that the thoughts are there, and gently moving away from them.  I am growing in my ability to do this during meditation. The mental conversation used to go something like this - "I'm going to meditate now.  So if you, dear thoughts, could kindly quiet down, I would be appreciative."  Three seconds later - "I know that you want to take this space, dear thoughts, but it isn't your turn.  Please be quiet."  Three seconds later - "Alright, already.  Stop. Just stop. I want to be quiet.  I want to listen for God.  You are in my way, dear thoughts."  And so on...

Now, I can sit patiently through each meditation session, knowing that the thoughts are coming and the conversation goes like this.  "Well, hello thought.  I've been expecting you.  Thank you for coming and I'll see you again tomorrow."  And then, I literally watch my thought float away.  This week, I've even been attentive to the space between thoughts and there really is space - lovely, peaceful, quiet space.

What amazes me is how this notion of allowing what is peaks into my daily routine from time to time.  I feel more patient, less anxious.  I've approached conversations with less extreme emotion than eight weeks ago.  Within the context of phone conversations, or student emails, or coworker tensions, I've heard a little voice say "allow what is" and immediately there is a sense of peace.  That's a cool feeling!

I enjoy the time and feel confident that I will continue the practice.  I look forward to moving through the other four techniques presented in the book I'm reading and hope to someday work with a friend, a teacher, a guru to deepen this experience.  But, I'm loving where I am today!