Friendship

I had the most amazing day because I got to spend it with a friend - one of the most amazing, genuine, friends ever.  We haven't had dedicated time to see or talk with each other in, probably, four years (since I moved away), but the casual observer of our meeting today would have been none the wiser.  We talked for five solid hours with barely a breath between us.  I think what is most striking was the mirror that we were for each other today, as we always have been.

I met this friend about 10 years ago when she came to work where I was working.  I had been burned by her predecessor, so I was reluctant to reach out to her upon her arrival.  The moment, as I remember it, that changed the entire shape of my life, was the moment she included me in a conversation about the work we would do together with our students.  She never asked if I wanted to partner with her.  She never saw our work as mine and hers.  Her lens was that of collaboration and the rest, they say, is history.

We became a force to be reckoned with.  What I lacked in creativity and flexibility, she had.  When she wanted to make decisions solely based on empathy, I brought logic to the table.  We were vision and detail, big picture and grunt work.  We grew up professionally together (me learning more from her than the reverse!).  We've laughed together, cried together, challenged each other, and made each other better.

I think my favorite times with her, though, were the times shared as we each started our families.  I got pregnant first, despite my earlier assertion that I didn't see myself having children.  Nine months later, she was pregnant.  We shared similar views and values about pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and more.  We listened to each others' fears and discoveries, felt each others' growing bellies, watched each other nurse our babies, and supported each other in the way only women can.

This is the point where our everyday opportunity to be with each other changed.  She began working part-time.  I changed jobs and then moved for another job change.  I have no regrets about those decisions and I don't believe she does either.  Those decisions certainly changed our time together, but NOT our friendship.

What brought us together today is the common place we find ourselves now - trying to understand ourselves and make meaning of our lives as mothers, women, professionals in the online space of the blog.  I have to admit that I was invited to read her blog and fell in love with the idea of having a creative space to unpack my mind.  Much of the inspiration for writing and sharing stories comes from her.

We've been reading each other and realized that we are, again, in similar places in our lives.  We are in a place where we desire meaning in what we do, rich relationships with our children and family, strong spiritual lives, and a strong sense of self.  We also struggle with finding balance as we attempt to commit to all of these aspirations. We are women who have been told we can have it all and now realize that having it all still requires sacrifice.  So, we are being intentional and thoughtful about how and what we will sacrifice.  

She held the mirror as I saw myself in her stories and I held the mirror for her.  It was amazing to hear her stories today and even more renewing to have her hear mine.  This is a friendship I cherish and am grateful for the time we had today.  I'm grateful that we found this common space to peak into each others' lives more regularly than this once-in-four-years meeting.  I am thankful for her!